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Love through Dimensions
The Journal of a Fujoushi
Complicated as Love 
10th-Oct-2008 11:21 am
Conrad & Yozak's memories

Fanfic: Complicated as Love
Music inspired: Everytime we touch, slow version (Cascada), Jet Airliner (Modern Talking), Thunder (East 17)
Genre: Shounen-ai/yaoi
Pairing: Ichigo x Keigo
Rating: NC-17/M because of later chapters
Warning: Graphic citrus (lemon and lime) in later chapters.
Summary: Puberty is hard, isn’t it? More then when you’re a substitute shinigami trying to save the world and an unsure boy who thinks his beloved doesn’t care. Find out how Ichigo and Keigo cope with the complicated thing called Love.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I would own Bleach, we would see: Yumichika and Ikkaku "showing their love", Ukitakes and Shunsuis bankai, a fight between Gin and Kira and Yamamoto by Aizen. And some shounen-ai pairs would out themselves. Seeing that none of this happens, I assume I really don't own Bleach. Maybe in my imagination, but that doesn't count, does it?

Chapter 4 "Keeping secrets"


Music for this chapter: Everytime we touch, slow version
Chapter Rating: PG-13

Summary: Ichigo felt at complete loss. Seeing this energetic, and always happy-go-lucky boy so lost and unsure...he didn’t know how to deal with it.

They both woke up to the ringing of the phone. Their head felt like stone and they couldn’t move. Both groned.

„Who the fuckin hell calls Saturday at fucked up 8.00 am?“ stated Ichigo according to his mood.

Keigo groaned as he stood and stumbled to the phone in the doorway. Ichigo heard him talk: „This better be important.“ And just after that he heard a tiny moan.

„Mizuiro...Yes, he’s here...What do you want?...You can’t be serious...Inoue-san!...Okayokay I’ll ask him just be quiet already...“ he turned just to see Ichigo standing already in the doorway looking unpleasantly.

„What is it?“

He embraced Keigo from behind, resting his chin on his shoulders. Keigo put a hand on the phone.

„They want us to go out with them. Mizuiro, Chad, Inoue, Tatsuki. Just we six. Like in old times.“

Ichigo groaned. „You can’t be serious...“

„That’s what I told Mizuiro. Just then Inoue-chan spoke into the phone and my head is about to burst.“

Ichigo sighed. „Oh well...We might as well go...Then you stop complainin about me not doin anythin with you and you won’t have the opportunity to go on about everybody leavin you out.“ He gave Keigo a light slap on the ass and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. He didn’t fail to notice the wide smile which Keigo sent him as he turned and walked back into the room.

Keigo spoke again into the phone: „Mizuiro? Or is it Inoue? Anyways, I just wanted: When and where do we meat? ... I see. We’ll be there in about a hour or so... Yeah, me too. Bye.“ With that he hung up and stroled happily (though he was still half asleep) into the kitchen to make something to grab before they leave.

„Guess that was it with the weekend with just the two of us.“ Said the voice of Ichigo as he embraced his lover from the back yet again and kissed his neck. Keigo just ‚hmmm‘-ed and pushed Ichigo a toast into the mouth. „Eat. The we might as well shower quickly. I have that bad feeling we stink like shit. I wouldn’t let myself show like this in front of Inoue-chaaan!“ he cried, but then he looked with a wide grin at Ichigo. „Got you! That was a joke!“ he turned to Ichigo and toyed with the cloth on his chest a sly grin on his face. „All of my attention is yours!“

Ichigo looked at him death serious that Keigo had to swallow. Had he gone too far?

„I seriously hope so. You got me there for a sec. Don’t do this to me again. Never. Ever. Understood?“

Keigo began to subconciously shiver.

„I...I...“ he couldn’t look into that honeybrown eyes, he had to avert his gaze. The look Ichigo sent him, gave him the creeps. It was anger mixed with a trace of sadness, maybe fear. Something very uncharacteristic from Ichigo. And knowing that he caused it made Keigo sad beyond belief. That was when he felt his chin being lifted which caused that he had to look into the eyes whose gaze  he couldn’t stand. SO he closed his eyes.

„Oi.“ Ichigos voice was veerything but upset. „‘M sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. I overreacted there.“

„No! I should be sorry! Saying something so stupid as a joke! I mean-„

But his rambling was stopped with a pair of soft lips on his own. He couldn’t but close his eyes and respond. Slowly his arms made their way around Ichigos shoulders and he subconciously pressed himself against Ichigo.

After a moment they parted.

„Let’s drop this subject. Fussin about something like this. Just don’t say it again. It makes me think that you don’t really want me seriously just for...“ the orange-head went red. „Wel...uh...You know. And that just right after we...last night...uh.“

Keigo smiled a bit embarassed too. „I understand. I was stupid to say it. Sorry. I didn’t think at that moment.“

They smiled at eachother.

„Let’s breakfest.“


Half an hour later, after a light breakfeast and a short shower, they made their way to the school, where they should meet up with their friends.



„I’ve been thinkin...When will we tell them?“

They halted.

„I...I don’t know...I would want to, but...But I...fear it. What if they won’t accept it? Or if they’ll be dissapointed that we didn’t tell them right away? I certainly would be. And I don’t like the idea telling everybody collectively. I...would rather...tell them privately...especially Mizuiro. I...I don’t know...I just feel like...DAMN! Why is this so hard?!“

Ichigo felt at complete loss. Seeing this energetic, and always happy-go-lucky boy so lost and unsure...he didn’t know how to deal with it. But he could understand him. The idea of telling Chad with everybody else there, so unpersonally...No. His best friend didn’t deserve being treated like anybody else. He was not just anybody but his best friend. Looking at Keigo, he laid both of his hands on his shoulders.

„Baby...I understand how you feel. Please, don’t cry. Maybe we can tell Mizuiro and Chad alone, privately and then...we’ll see if we tell the others collectively or privately. Don’t worry. They’ll accept it. They’re our friends.“

„Ichigo...“ Keigo looked at him surprised. Since when did Ichigo talk like this? About friendship and feelings? And then this easily. Did he change that much during the 2 months holiday? Or was it just this moment? Or was it him? Did Ichigo just opened up to him? Did it matter that much that their relationship went deeper? Being sentimental wasn’t Ichigos speciality. Did this mean that Keigo was something special to him? The thought made him smile. Even if it maybe wasn’t that, just the possibility made him the happiest person alive. And being the extrovert he was, it made him grin widely.

„You’re right!“ he leaped into Ichigos arms and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. And just as the kiss came it ended (leaving Ichigo dumbfounded, just by the way) and Keigo beamed.

„Let’s get going! We don’t want our friends to worry, do we?!“ With that he ran, never ceasing the grin.

Ichigo looked puzzled.

„Keigo? Oi! Keigo! Keigo, wait!“

And he followed him hot on his heals.


The day went good. They went to a movie, then lunch eating pizza, then Ice Cream and just hanging out like in the old days, when everything wasn’t that complicated as it was now. Keigo was the energetic boy, Mizuiro the calm water, Chad the quiet one, Ichigo the introvert, who cared non-the-less, Tatsuki the babysitter and Inoue the nice girl. Currently they sat on the couch at Keigos and made themselves comfortable. They agreed they’ll sleep over since Keigos sis‘ was out of town and tomorrow...or was it already ‚today‘?, was sunday. By the time Keigos sister would be back, they’ll be all out.

Ichigo looked around and all he saw was drunk people. Only he and Tatsuki were stil capable of walking. Cue the fact, that after his adventures in Soul Society Matsumoto, Renji, Kira and Hisagi couldn’t but take him out and spend the whole night browsing the pubs of Rukongai. After that night Ichigo felt like he could drink everything, since he drunk a really high amount of sake and surprisingly survived it. Thuss the high tolerance. But that wouldn’t last much longer.

Keigo and Chad were the 1st ones to go down. They were currently snoring, Chad leaning on the couch and Keigo lying on it, the head in Ichigos lap. Surprisingly, Mizuiro and Inoue took longer than expected to be lying on the ground. It took them 2 hours after Chad and Keigo. And now he Tatsuki sat against eachother, letting slip a big sigh.

„Man, this isn’t fun if it’s just the two of us.“ Complained Tatsuki.

„Yeah. Wimps.“ Ichigo nudged Keigo. „Can’t last a single sake.“

Looking at eachother they cheered and dran their remaining sake out and after a while they fell asleep as well.


The next morning came at 3 pm as Keigo sat up groaning and making a race to the toilette. Soon, sounds of somebody throwing up woke the others. Mizuiro woke up, but couldn’t bring the will up to rise. The thought of pretending to be dead was more appealing then having to leave soon. Tatsuki cluched her head and Chad...well Chad sat there in silent pain. As for Inoue and Ichigo...Inoue really looked like dead and Ichigo was still asleep safe and sound as Keigo came back and slumped onto the couch.


„Not so loud...“ moaned Mizuiro.


„Would you two shut up?!“ called Tatsuki and everybody jumped two feet and instantly clutched their heads groaning.

„Tatsuki-chan...I’m dead...“ whispered Inoue and Chad nodded in appreciation. Keigo just silently agreed. It was then when they heard a loud yawn. Turning to the source, they saw Ichigo, stretching lazily and slowly opening his eyes. As he saw that poor picture the group gave he rose his eyebrow.


Everybody looked nonunderstandingly.

„Don’t tell me your head doesn’t feel like exploding?!“ asked Tatsuki, still clutching her head.

„No. I survived worse.“ Everybody looked puzzled.


Ichigo just jerked his shoulders and stood up. „I’m taking a shower.“

And with that he went to the bathroom, not seeing the dissappointed look Keigo sent him.


It took everybody 2 hours to disappear leaving only Ichigo and Keigo, whom had earned the wondefull task of cleaning up the mess they created. They had a little over two hours since the big sister would be back at 7 p.m. Ichigo was picking up the last bottle as he heard Keigo ask: „So, Ichigo...when did you lern to drink like that?“

Was it just him, or had Keigos voice a slight edge? He looked puzzled at him.

„Well, it was...“ exactly at that moment it hit him. He couldn’t tell Keigo and that‘s why he didn’t tell him and now he found unintentionally out and was dissapointed, judging the look on his face. And Ichigo couldn’t stand this boy, who was always happy and energetic seeing so sad and disappointed. But the worst part was, that he could do nothing about it.


Keigo smiled a sad smile.

„Tell me Ichigo...how can I trust you, if you don’t trust me?“

Ichigo felt dread spreading in his stomach.

„You tell you love me and yet you are keeping secrets from me. How can I know that you don’t lie about loving me, if you lie about everything else?“ Keigos look became hard and Ichigo felt panic grab him.


„Shut up!“

It was too late.

„I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want any lies! I want you, but if you don’t want me, so be it!“

„But Keigo I want you!“

„No, you don’t! If you would want me, really want me, you would tell me.“ His voice was now just a mere whisper.

„Keigo...“ Ichigo found himself at complete loss of words.

„Get out.“

Shock settled itself in Ichigo. „But...“


Keigo tried to push him to the door and throw him out, but Ichigo wouldn’t let it happen. He didn’t want to loose what he just earned. So he did the only possible thing: He wrapped his arms tightly against Keigo, never letting go.


„Out!“ Keigo sobbed.

„I said no. Keigo, listen. I thought we agreed on something. I told you I can’t tell you. I’m bound to shut up and not tell a word. I trust you, I really do, but it’s a comand I have to follow.

„You never follow comands.“ Keigo whimpered.

„Sometimes there are more important things then stubborness.“

Keigo looked up at him, a little shocked. „What?“

„I admit that I’m a stubborn ass, you are free to laugh your head off, but don’t pursue  me. Please.“

As Keigo saw into Ichigos eyes full of honesty, he couldn’t but trust him. And so he nodded.

„Fine. But only on one condition: You tell me someday. I can’t live with you knowing you have secrets you don’t tell me.“

Ichigo looked into Keigos eyes and the pleading tone convinced him.

„Fine. One day you’ll know.“

Keigo smiled. For now it was enough.


„All the good times and bad times we’ve been through“ oh! Caught me singing again, didn’t you? Sorry bout that ^^“

Didya like it? I kinda don’t know. I’m not really satisfied with the chapter... But it’s your oppinion that counts so tell me! I’m just glad about comments.

I hope all of your questions were answered. If not...someday you’ll know  ~___^

See ya next time




Cut from next chapter: He never felt like this before. He felt like he was somewhere beyond the world, in an other dimension made of passion and love, where there were only he and Ichigo. Only the two of them alone. Together. Not as friends anymore but as lovers. He felt that this was a beginning of something new.

Want to read more? Then follow me...


I decided to upload this today, because I'm not here for the weekend. Hope you liked it. Though, I think this chapter is a bit pointless. Could it be?


If you didn't and would want to read the other chapters, here they are:

Chapter 1 "As simple as that"

Chapter 2 "Matters of the Heart"

Chapter 3 "Lost"

20th-Oct-2008 11:50 am (UTC)
I really like the plot, this is the first Ichigo/Keigo fic Iread and I must say I was pleasantly surprised.

I liked the fact that both ichigo and keigo didn't leap into sex, and are also actually thinking about how they're gonna waltz out of the closet. It's rather refreshing!

Unfortunately there are a few problems with spelling and grammar (Maybe you should invest in a beta). But even then, your level of english is really impressive seeing as it's not your mother tongue (I'm assuming from your profile page)

I can't wait to see how this goes! ^^
20th-Oct-2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it isn't and thanks ^^
But most of them are probably typing errors. But I have problems with the tenses in english (with probably another 5 miliards of people).

I'm happy you like the plot.
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