Yuuri walked the halls of Blood Pledge Castle heatedly arguing with his fiancé over the same matter as always: Their engagement.
„But where I come from it’s unnatural!“
„But you live here now! You’re from the same blood too!“
„And besides I still haven’t met one gay pair here!“
To his surprise Wolfram halted abruptly. „You didn’t?“
But Yuuri was too angry to question why was Wolfram so startled and walking out on him, he turned the corner, only to freeze on the place. There, only a few meters away was his godfather, pressing to the wall his bodyguard and best spy, kissing him senseless and shamelessly stroking his tigh. And the spy was more than responding. Wolfram came from behind him. „Now you met a gay pair. Are you now willing to reconsider?“
It made Yuuri snap out of his freeze and turning to his fiancé he shouted: „I’m sure it’s not as it looks like!“
The shout made the until now oblivious pair jump apart abruptly, eyes wide. „Heika!“ Their lips were swollen, faces flushed and hair a complete mess, just as the clothes. They seemed to realize this as Conrad began straightening his uniform at once while Yozak tried to bring his hair back into a perfect shape. Conrad bowed deeply. „I apologize profusely Heika. We got carried away. It won’t happen again.“ As Yozak was silent, Conrad kicked him.
„Wha, ah yes, bochan, sorry for being uh, distracted.“ And he bowed too, only not so elegant and deeply as Conrad. Apparently he was more stressed out than the captain, which really wasn’t as surprising. Being kissed into oblivion like that and torn out of it as it happened, wasn’t exactly pleasent. Rather disturbing. Yuuri however was speechless. Dumbfounded. Completely out of it.
„But...you...how, when, how? How could you? Why didn’t you tell me?“
The pair exchanged sideway glances and Conrad spoke, straightening. „I feared how you would react, Heika.“
For a change, Yuuri couldn’t even protest against how his godfather called him. Yozak scratched the back of his head. „I told him he should tell you but he wouldn’t listen. See bochan, we’ve been together for a long time now and as captain saw how you react to these kind of things, well...he got cold feet.“
„Oh, come one, you know it’s true.“
„Yozak.“ This time his voice was more strict. The spy sighed. Right now he had absolutely no power to argue with his captain, with such shaking legs. For safety measures he leaned onto the wall. Conrad turned to Yuuri. „I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.“
„Bu-but...You...“ Yuuri was still unable to say something, anything. The look Conrad gave him was almost desperate and Wolfram really started to worry. Did Yuuri really have such a problem with it...? The king shook his head frantically. „I’m sorry for disturbing you!“ and he turned on his heels, disappearing behind the same corner he turned just a minute ago.
„Heika!“ Conrad darted forward to follow him (making Yozak utter a sigh, which still sounded a bit shaky) but Wolfram stopped him.
„No! I’ll go.“
„His Excellency is right.“ Yozak said. „Young Master saw you just now kiss an other man...where ‚kiss‘ is really innocently said. And you know how he thinks about same-sex relationships. Don’t you think that you’re probably the last person he wants to see? He needs to sort out his feelings.“
„You’re the one to speak. It’s your fault.“
„How so? If my memory serves me, and until now it served me very good, mind you, it was you who refused to tell him and you who suddenly grabbed my arm and practically raped my mouth with your and seduced me in broad daylight.“
„You’re right, I’m sorry, I just...“
„I’m not blaming you captain. Actually, I’m probably even more shaken up than you. My knees still feel like butter.“
Conrad managed a weak smile, but it screamed ungenuity. Yozak sighed.
„And so I’ll go after him. He needs to calm his head and you need to calm...“ a glance down „other parts of your body.“
„I’ll take care of him!“ Yozak shouted but Wolfram already disappeared around the corner, into the direction where Yuuri ran off to. Conrad wished that the ground would open up right under him.
It really wasn’t difficult to find Yuuri. He sat under the tree around which blue flowers grew, staring into them. Wolfram approached him. „Yuuri...“
„Why didn’t he tell me, Wolf?!“
„Isn’t that obvious you wimp?“
„Don’t call me wimp.“ but there was less energy behind the sentence. It made Wolfram stirr.
„Listen, Yuuri“ (at this Yuuri finally looked at him) „I know that Conrad loves you as if you were his son and so he doesn’t want to disappoint you. And I know that you like Conrad very much that it even makes me jealous at times. So isn’t it obvious why he didn’t tell you?“
„No, it isn’t! People with feelings like that towards eachother should speak about such things!“
„What would you have done if he had told you?“
This made Yuuri startle. He wanted to say that he would have smiled and said „Conrad, it’s okay“ or „So what?“ or „I see, have a boyfriend yet? I want to meet him“, but he couldn’t. Something made him doubt that he would actually say those things and it probably had to do something with todays encounter. He tried to convince himself that it was only because he found out so abruptly, without being prepared for it and that he was only sad that Conrad didn’t already tell him, but deep inside he knew he would be only lying to himself.
Wolfram, apparently knew that too. „See? That’s why he didn’t tell you. He didn’t want to disappoint you. Really, sometimes he is just as wimpy as you are.“
But Yuuri wasn’t listening. Instead he tried to figure out his feelings towards his godfather. Did he hate him? No. Did he see Conrad in an other light now? Yes. Was he angry with him? No. Was he disappointed? Yes. Why? He didn’t know. Would he see now Conrad as an other person, would his feelings towards him change?
„Wolfram, I have to go.“ He interrupted the blonde in his rant and didn’t wait for an answer as he headed straight to Conrads office. He planned to march in, he wanted to slam the door open and talk with him straight away, but the closer he got, the colder his feet grew and as he arrived at the office and heard voices inside his raised hand ready to knock on the door stoped in mid-air, as he involuntarily began listening.
Conrad was pacing his office in long strides up and down, left and right, looking like a haunted animal. After a while Yozak grew tired watching him and said: „We have a problem.“
„I know! I disappointed Yuuri, I, whom he calls his godfather! How could I?“
„I was rather talking about the problems in our pants.“
„You know that I wear very tight underwear, don‘t you?“
„Cope with it! You should be able to handle a minor inconvenience.“ And he started pacing again.
Yozak sighed once more. „Minor inconvenience, sheesh...“
„Right now, Yuuri is out there, disappointed and I am the cause!“
„I hope you at least realize that he isn’t disappointed that you’re dating a man but the fact that you didn’t tell him about it.“
„You don’t need to lecture me, I know so much!“
„If you do, then why didn’t you tell him?“
„Try telling your godson whom you love from the bottom of your heart, that you’re gay while he finds it weird and awkward!“
A Yozaks smile grew sad and averted his gaze to the earth, Conrad knew instantly that he said something very, very wrong.
„After all it does come down to that, doesn’t it?“
„Yozak...It’s not that. I just...somewhere I hoped he would figure it out on his own.“
„‘This is Yozak Gurrier. In case of emergency he is to support us, he’s a guard who has been following us since Schildkraut.‘ That was it. Nothing like ‚and also my best friend whom I have known for an eternity, the man who dragged my sorry ass back from the battlefield, my lover, the man I love, the man I’m summoning all my courage for to finally propose to him...‘ nothing like that. A supporting guard. That was it. The kid trusts you. Of course he wouldn’t dig in deeper. He expects you to come to him and I fully support that.“ The word was dripping irony. „I love you captain. I have loved you for almost all my life now, Conrad Weller. Even if I always knew that I am not on the first place in your list of priorities, but I never had a problem with it. In fact I still don’t have a problem with it. It means you trust me that I can take care of myself. The cliff-incident only proves it. However...“ he looked straight into his captains eyes, his blue eyes piercing into honey-brown. „I don’t know how much longer I can bear that you struggle with introducing me as your boyfriend.“ He pushed himself from the wall he had been leaning on and silently, without the word he headed for the door.
The spys hand was already on the knuckle.
„What...what do you mean with that?“ he could hear his lovers, no – his captains, voice shaking, tainted with something that bordered despair. He didn’t turn around as he said his answer.
And with that he opened the door, ignoring the strangled cry „Yozak!“ as he came face to face with His Majesty. He knew instantly that he heard, by the guilty look on his face and the fidgeting hands.
„Captain’s already waiting for you. If you excuse me Bochan, I’m going to lie down. I’m tired.“ He repeated, though he wasn’t sure if he said it to His Majesty or the man inside the office and he found he didn’t care. Not waiting for an answer and without any other word, he left and Conrad collapsed into his chair, putting his face into his hands, wanting nothing more than to disappear.
„Heika...“ It stung his heart as Yuuri didn’t correct him.
„I heard your talk...“ He stayed silent. There wasn’t much to say to that. „And I think you should apologize.“
He knew as much already. But nonetheless, he answered this time. „I know. I know. But what can I say to him? I’m sorry? I said that so many times...and he always forgives me. Sometimes I wished that he would hit me, beat me, scream at me, and not smirk, pat my back and say ‚It’s fine, I know that you’re a jerk, it’s another thing I love on you, now why don’t we go for a drink‘. But now I wish he would say that, I want it so much, but at the same time, I don’t deserve it and I know...that I went too far this time. I don’t know if he has the strenght to forgive me anymore. And that knowledge tears me apart...Along with the knowledge that I disappointed Your Majesty.“
„You shouldn’t call me ‚Your Majesty‘ when you’re the one who named me.“
Conrads hand snapped up from his hands to see the warm smile of Yuuri directed right at him. The King continued. „You know I really was sad and disappointed, but I guess it’s my fault too. I know I grew up in a society where something like a gay relationship is plain weird, but I never realized that you grew up in a society which thinks the exact opposite and that you might...might be...“ a red tint apperad on the kings cheek and he found it difficult to continue „Uhm...you know...“ but he still fought his embarassment in order to finally say the word which made him very uncomfortable. It made Conrad smile as he saw that the boy is willing to take a step forward. He decided to help him.
„Yuuri.“ The king looked at him puzzled. „It’s fine, I understand what you mean.“
Yuuri smiled. „Hai, uhm well, back to the topic. I don’t think it’s exceptionally bad to be uh, gay“ (he actually flinched at the word, but it still made Conrads smile grow wider) „only...I’m still not accustomed to it. I just...need time to fully comprehend it. And I’m not asking you to break up with Yozak, I see how much you two need eachother...“
„Yuuri...“ but the king wouldn’t let him say more. „So! So I...So I tell you to go after him and speak with him, make up with him. Maybe even give yourself a kick and ‚summon all of your courage to finally propose to him‘.“ He winked and almost chuckled as Conrad went red.
Conrads face was stunned for a few moments until he finally smiled. „Yuuri.“ He nodded. „I’ll speak with him. Though, the ‚summoning all my courage to finally propose to him‘ will have to wait a little longer. I’m a perfectionist after all. And Yozak deserves the best.“
„I’m sure. So I have to go, or your brother will have even more wrinkles.“
Conrad chuckled. „Yes, Yuuri. I have too important things to do.“
„Ja ne!“ and he left.
Conrad watched the door for a full minute, then collapsed against his chair. Now, what to do...It took him half an hour to arrive at Yozaks door and another ten minutes to finally knock. There were a few moments of silence until the spys tired voice sounded. „I’m coming.“ Conrad heard steps and tensed. The door opened. Silence. Yozak actually looked like he was strugling with shutting the door right into his face. But then out of sheer will he stepped to the side and let Conrad enter. He couldn’t even have known how thankfull Conrad was for it.
„Thank you.“ He said as he stepped in. And silence settled itself between once again. Conrad didn’t know what to say and it looked like Yozak refused to say anything, just as he refused to meet his gaze. Instead he waited.
Conrad sighed. „I’m sorry.“ It really didn’t surprise him that Yozak snorted. It looked like he really was at end with his patience. „I mean it. I...can’t even say it enough to show you how sorry I am for all the pain I caused you. The sad thing is that I never really realized how much it has to be hurting you, since our friends know. For me it was always the only thing that really counted. I always thought that it wasn’t necessary and that it could hurt you. I never realized that you would need things like that. Even if have known you for a century. And so all that’s left to say is I’m sorry. Even if it doesn’t change a thing.“
Yozak nodded, still refusing to meet his gaze. „And what do you want me to do about it?“
„Whatever you consider the best.“
Finally Yozak looked up into those wonderfull warm eyes and sighed. „You know that I can’t live without you. You know that I love you and will always forgive you. You know that I’ll follow you anywhere. What else do you want?“
„That you hit me, scream at me, beat me into a bloody pulp and make me feel all the pain you have to feel?“
„I don’t think I could.“
„And I don’t think I deserve you and I don’t know what I ever did to make such a wonderfull person fall in love with me.“
„You didn’t do anything. Only being yourself. A I being myself. That’s all there is to it.“ He approached him untill they were face to face. „I love you.“ And Conrad couldn’t hold it any longer and...
... kissed him. And that kiss grew more heated, more passionate, it became filled with lust. As they parted for air their eyes were already darkened with lust and Yozak whispered huskily. „We still have a problem to solve...“ That was all Conrad needed to throw him on the bed.
On the other end of the castle another two persons faced eachother.
„So, did your opinion change?“
In spite that it was the answer he wanted to hear, Wolfram looked away. „Because now you know that Conrad is gay too?“
„No! No way! I just...realized that there’s really nothing fundamentaly wrong with it. But...I still have to get used to it.“ He smiled at his fiancé apologeticaly. „Wait for me a little while longer?“
Their eyes met and Wolfram hmph-ed. „I waited for you five years already! I think I am able bear it a while longer, you wimp!“
And Yuuri threw himself onto his neck, making him freeze.